Bringing Home Baby #2: The Beautiful, Chaotic Reality

There’s this dreamy image of introducing a new baby to their older sibling—big brother or sister peeking into the bassinet with wide-eyed wonder, gently patting the newborn’s head, and whispering, “I love you, baby.”

Yeah… that’s not exactly how it went down in my house.

Instead, my toddler took one look at the baby, furrowed her little brows, and said, “Put it back.”

The Emotional Rollercoaster No One Warned Me About

Bringing a second baby home is so different from bringing home the first. The first time, you’re just figuring out how to survive. The second time, you’re doing all of that while also managing the emotions of a tiny human who has just been dethroned as the center of your universe.

👶 The Newborn Stage with a Toddler in Tow

• One is crying because they want another snack.
• One is crying because they are a snack (aka cluster feeding non-stop).
• And me? I’m just trying to remember if I brushed my teeth today.

The first few weeks were an exhausting blur of trying to nurse, console a jealous toddler, and explain 27 times a day why the baby gets to sit on my lap again.

Signs My Toddler Was Not Thrilled About the New Baby

✅ Ignored the baby completely.
✅ Suddenly needed to be held the second I picked up the baby.
✅ Regression: Forgot how to sleep, eat, and apparently walk without assistance.
✅ Looked me straight in the eye while aggressively knocking over a tower of blocks the baby would never even touch.

What Actually Helped (and What Didn't)

✔ What Worked:

• One-on-One Time: Even 10 minutes of dedicated “big kid time” helped her feel seen.
• Letting Her Help: Giving her little “jobs” like bringing diapers or singing a lullaby made her feel important.
• Acknowledging Her Feelings: Instead of “Don’t be mad at the baby,” I tried, “I know it’s hard when Mommy is busy with the baby. I love you so much.”

❌ What Didn’t Work (At All):

• Telling her she’d “love” the baby soon. She wasn’t buying it.
• Overcompensating with treats and gifts. She just started expecting presents daily, which was not sustainable.
• Assuming she’d adjust quickly. Nope. This was a marathon, not a sprint.

The Moment I Knew We’d Be Okay

One night, after an epic bedtime battle, I was rocking the baby when my toddler walked in, climbed onto my lap, and rested her head on my shoulder. She sighed, then whispered, “Baby can stay.”

It took time, patience, and a lot of deep breaths, but we got there. And if you’re in the thick of it, wondering if your firstborn will ever stop throwing shade at their new sibling—just know, it gets better.

And one day, they’ll look at each other, giggle, and start plotting against you. 💕

Bringing home a new baby? Grab my free practical guide to surviving the sibling transition—it’s full of realistic tips, scripts, and sanity-saving strategies!